EA

The new Mass Effect is set in Andromeda, our nearest neighbour in galactic terms and seems to be leaning heavily on it being a wild new frontier starting the trailer off with some hella cowboy sounding music by Johnny Cash. Not coming till late 2016 all we really know about Mass Effect: Andromeda is that it takes place awhile after the Shepard trilogy, in another galaxy, and the MAKO is back.

The scary EA business man says they are hosting 300 school students in the audience. It's weird. People applaud?

Need For Speed looks like a street racing game, but it has FMV for the story, and it looks bad in a great way. Nobody tell them, they might try and fix it. The drifting looks stupid to me, the camera just doesn't feel like it's in the right place or facing the right way so you can see the damn road. Maybe you'll get used to it, who knows. The lighting effects look great in a trailer but how it reads when playing it could be a problem. The lower third pops up to remind you Star Wars Battlefront will be on in 50 minutes. Thanks EA.

A tiny cat made of yarn appears on screen, and then underneath him a very nervous man comes out and tells about how he wanted to make something with heart, yarn represents love and also it's a puzzle platformer. Unravel is adorable, and looks great, but I dunno if *tie onto two points to create path* or *create pulley system* will be fun. The environment and character looks amazing though, and it's a super weird game for EA to be presenting.

The trailer is sweet and has a nice piano soundtrack to it and OH JESUS WHAT GODDAMNIT Danger Zone is suddenly playing and it's the bloody Plants vs Zombies Garden Warfare thing again and a giant guy in a zombie suit is coming out on stage. Whoever planned these segments should be fired. They show off some of the zombie classes including such gems as a new melee character who shoots lasers?? The narrator seemed to be making everything up on the spot.

Do you like sports games? EA has sports games. Lots of them. A whole lot. Sports. There's a hockey NHL game, a golf game, and now everything has collectable cards in that you can buy for real money or something, that let's you do fantasy sports? Hey basketball that's a sport with a game. They bring out someone referred to as 'The Hoop God' who scans his face with a phone to put his face in the game. This tech always works super well. But hey maybe EA will pull it off.

Hurray sports is over for now, oh boy what next oh it's mobile fuck me. Those yellow minion things are pretty popular, there's a mobile game with them in it I don't know. BACK TO SPORTS. They show a sizzle reel with Pele in it, okay so FIFA coming up, right? Not yet! They bring Pele out on stage and interview him for six and a half minutes, not even about the game just anecdotes from the good old days. Then they show FIFA16, which is a new FIFA coming out this year. Finally! For real finally though they are adding women's teams which is cool.

Mirror's Edge Catalyst is sort of a reboot. "She doesn't need any guns" when talking about Faith, and everyone breathes a sigh of relief. "There are no levels, there are no loading screens." Open world could be really awesome for this game if they put in lots of details and make it worth your time to run around and explore. Also the bad guy in the trailer looks exactly like the CEO of Electronic Arts, maybe DICE are pissed it took this long to get this game approved?

SPORTS AGAIN GUYS. American football this time. Madden!

Anyway a lady from DICE comes up and talks about how much she loves Star Wars. Everyone wants to see Star Wars. Here are some concept art and screenshots of Star Wars. Listen to me talk about playing with Star Wars toys. Gameplay! The battle of Hoth in a Star Wars game huh, a bold choice. It looks rad, even though in the back of my mind I'm pretty sure there will be Battlefront Premium or something and there are weapons included in the more expensive pre-orders but damn it they fly a snowspeeder and harpoon an AT-ATs legs and I'm so on board.